Thursday, January 3, 2008

Adjustment

Nothing really new to report. Andy continues to recover, as do we. His recovery is physical and developmental, ours is emotional. He pretty much stayed a 12-month-old for five months and is beginning to progress through five months worth of development in a very short amount of time.

Our recovery is different. I'm in a weird emotional state right now. I dealt with cancer because I had to. Now I don't. I'm wondering if things may be catching up with me now.

Adjusting to "normal life" is weird. For example. We were at Julie's sister's for the new year celebrations. We were downstairs with our guitars, just goofing off and we heard a kid cry. I chuckled and mentioned that my kids love the loud music from the basement, I guess because they're used to it. Someone spoke up and said, "Yeah, but do they have a cold?" as if the little cold were the end of the world. Well, when you're a "normal" parent, a cold kinda is the end of the world. It took every ounce of will power I had not to.. well... You get the idea. I just smiled and let it go.

I came into work today. Actually one of the hospitals. I find myself keeping a safe distance from everyone, even my co-workers.

Andy hasn't been sleeping very well and he's been pooping a LOT. I think he may have a bit of a tummy problem. It's weird not worrying about counts, etc. I don't know, I can't really explain it.

I think this is going to take quite a bit of time. We'll see how it goes. I'm not liking adjusting back into the real world. Not one bit.

...I'm also going to miss my 12-month-old baby. I've been a bit spoiled in having a baby stay at that particular age for a few months. Parents know what I'm talking about. 12 - 14 months is an awesome age. Probably the best.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good post, Danny. As Andy's grandma I'm feeling a smidgeon of what you and Julie must be feeling. You explained it well. I hope Andy is getting rid of all the poison from the chemo. It's going to be tough to let go of Andy even the slightest bit. Hang in there!!