Thursday, November 1, 2007

Thought Process

Funny how things change.

A few weeks ago, you'll recall we were scheduled for a hearing test. The results of that hearing test on Monday coupled with a CT scan on Friday would determine the course of the following few weeks and possibly the course of Andy's life. There were many possible combinations of results and permutations. Someone asked me if I stopped to figure it all out.

Now to back up a bit. Ok, back up a lot. Look at my grandfather. He worked for a certain branch of the DoD and the only way he could have moved higher in the food chain was by presidential appointment and he wanted nothing to do with DC poliics. He was very successful. He made more in retirement than most people do while working. He was very well-respected. He didn't get that way by waiting for things to come to him. When he needed to know something, dammit, he got his answers. When something needed to change, dammit, he made it change. I've adopted this particular attitude. Of course, that attitude carries over to things beyond work.

So six months ago, I would have had to stop and figure out all of this in my head right up front and tried my hardest to grasp for answers along with everything else that was going on at the time. Basically, I would have lost my grip on reality by the end of the first few weeks of this.

At some point over the first few days after Andy's diagnosis, things changed. My thought process changed. I take in news and I no longer try to figure everything out at once.


Think back a few posts and you'll realize I came to a realization while banging on the drums. Whether it's playing the drums, riding my bike, or YouTubing, I go into it now with a few general thoughts in my mind. I don't know how, but these thoughts are processed while I'm focusing on trying to get that beat sounding just right, pushing myself that extra mile, or just goofing off looking at others' sick sense of humor.

Rather than force myself to figure things out, I let them figure themselves out.

Guess what? It works. Yeah. I don't know how, but it works.

Going back to a few weeks ago when there was a lot to figure out as to what would result from the combination of the hearing test and the CT scan, I managed to get it all straight in my head after a couple hours of drumming.

The human mind is a very strange thing. It's weird how focusing on making certain connections in the brain can help align other unrelated connections. But yeah, it's weird.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled programming.

Jason & Amy, how's parenthood treating you? Sleeping yet? Didn't think so.


Anonymous said...

how is Andy doing today?

andrew 4 life said...

Not bad. I just made another post actually.