Sux

The only thing worse than having to give your baby a shot in the leg every night is having to give your baby a shot in the leg every night after hooking him up to his back of liquid nutrition because he can't eat.

At least there's no more TPN. But I hate having to give him a shot. And I hate that he's used to it and it doesn't really bother him anymore. And I hate that I'm used to giving it to him. I wish I still didn't know how to give sub-q shots. I wish I didn't know what sub-q means. I wish my 4-year-old didn't know what TPN is. I wish I didn't know what TPN is. I wish my baby didn't know to wear stethoscopes around his neck. I wish my 2-year-old didn't know that her little brother gets meds at the same time every night. I wish I didn't know the side effects of morphine on a baby. I wish I didn't know what Neupogin or Bactrim are. I wish I didn't know what a flush is, or heparin, or a hepalock for that matter. I wish I didn't know what a posiflow is. I wish my kids still thought of a hospital as a place for sick people. I wish my baby were still anxious around medical personnel. I wish I didn't know that chlorhydrate now causes a paradoxical reaction in my baby. I wish I didn't know what a paradoxical reaction is. I wish my baby didn't know what it mean to be taken to a treatment room. I wish I were still uncomfortable while walking into a treatment room. I wish I didn't know that my baby requires extra sedatives. I could go on and on.

But I digress.