Random Neurons Firing

In exchanging e-mails with a friend, a few random neurons fired. These are thoughts I'd like to share.

First of all, don't try to put yourself in my shoes, Julie's shoes, or any parents of cancer kids. Just don't try. Especially if you're a parent. I know this is easier said than done, but please don't try to put yourself in our shoes. When you're in this situation, you deal with it in a way that I hope to God you can never understand. Because to understand it you need to be in this situation. And I hope you're never in this situation.

We deal with it. Yeah I know how worked up you get when your kid gets a cold. I know how helpless and heartbroken you feel when they give you that look like, "Help me! Do something!" And I know that you're trying to relate that to how I'm feeling with Andy. I know this because I've now had 4 people tell me this. But ya know what? We deal with it. We have a different perspective on these things.

Don't tear yourself up over it.

Another random neuron firing... Survivor's guilt. I now have a hard time talking to people whose kids have cancer, especially if they're terminal. I didn't have this problem a few weeks ago. The tumor is gone and chemo is almost done. Andy's pretty much kicked this thing. Now it's time for survivor's guilt. I'm sure it will pass but it's there.

Audiogram today. He seems to be hearing fine, but we'll see. Since the boy now gets paradoxical reactions to chlorohydrate, this will involve an anesthesiologist as well as some heavy sedatives. *sigh*