Monday, August 27, 2007

I Need to be Angry

I'm very angry and need somewhere to focus that anger. There are a few things that should bother me a bit, but given my situation where emotions are amplified, they are really eating me up.

I've tried being angry at myself, but it only hurts my family.

I've tried being angry at God, but that will only make him pissed, and the last thing I need right now is a pissed off omniscient being.

I've tried being angry at the tumor, but that doesn't accomplish a thing. I almost feel as though the tumor is laughing at me for being angry at it.

I've tried being angry at my employer (all references as to where I work have been removed from this website, by the way) for having unfair EMTO policies, but that'll just get me in trouble at work, or worse.

I've tried being angry at my dad for not believing me when I tell him things regarding Andy's condition or saying I'm talking too "serious and business-like" but that will only make things worse in the end.

I've tried being angry at people in general for taking the whole "don't come around if you have any symptoms at all" with a grain of salt, but that will only make things worse, and I think everyone finally got the picture now.

I've tried being angry at the IV pumps for beeping and waking Andy up, but that only made me take it out on a nurse named Ann, to whom I owe an apology but haven't seen since.

I've tried being angry at the asshole Richmond Heights cop who drives car number 7213 for his predatory policing of Bellevue Ave., thus being a disgrace to the badge on his chest, but he'll get what he deserves at some point, I'm sure.

Speaking of this, I've tried being angry at Mayor Slay and everyone else responsible for the good-in-theory-but-unfair-in-practice redlight cameras in place in the City of St. Louis, but all that does is make me look like a fool. (c'mon STL, you're a classy city. Do it right or don't do it at all.)

I've tried being angry at those who are too lazy to hold down a job yet seem to live in luxury (how???) while I work my ass off and struggle to pay bills, but all that does is make me mad at Clinton for allowing welfare to get where it is today.

I've tried being angry at Clinton for allowing welfare to get where it is today, but all that does is make me laugh at him because he has a funny voice.

I've tried being angry at Andy for being such a light sleeper lately, but I just can't be mad at him.

I've tried being angry at everyone who picks the wrong time to call. In particular, about 3 minutes after he falls asleep. But they don't know that he just fell asleep.

I've tried being angry at my 4th grade teacher because she treated the boys in the class unfairly, but that has absolutely nothing to do with anything.

So, I'll do what anyone else my age would do in my situation. I'll be angry at the entire early baby boom generation, just because it's so easy to do, and you love to return the favor. So screw you, boomers! Go retire already! Woodstock sucked! the 60s sucked! The 90s were the best! Kurt Cobain was a God! (I can't believe I just said that. eww)

Ok, now I feel better. Thanks early boomers, you're always fun to be mad at. Now call me lazy and slothful and I'll call you family-hating workaholics. Now tell me MTV and Nintendo fried my brain as a child and I'll tell you LSD and/or "the bush" fried your brain as a young adult. Then I'll make you take me out to dinner at a nice restaurant so you can buy me some food because I don't have enough money right now since I'm saving up for a PS3 to plug into my 60" HDTV. (oops that one hit kinda close to home)


Anonymous said...

It's okay to be mad at GOD. If everything I've heard about HIM my whole life is true, then HE can handle it. Besides, it's kinda all HIS fault anyway. Now it's time for HIM to step up and fix this. If HE had it in him to bless a thug like Michael Vick with millions....then he can take a few minutes of HIS precious time and help a cute innocent child! On another note, any man that was involved with Courtney love can hadly be called a God, sorry.

Anonymous said...

You can be angry with me all you want. That's what great-aunts are for. I'm also technically a boomer although I apparently missed Woodstock, being a hippie, LSD, pot and free love. I wasn't good, just chicken. I only mention this so I can say as soon as Andy is well, we are going out to dinner and celebrating and I'll pick up the tab. Deal?

Take care and vent all you want. It's healthier than holding it in.


Aunt Carolyn

PS Kurt is not a god! However, Elvis is the King!