Sunday, October 21, 2007

Insert Title Here

I just got back from seeing my grandparents (and my cousin too). Same trip as last time. Jefferson Barracks then the other cemetary. Can't remember the name of it.

I miss my grandfather. I feel like a large chunk of my being is gone.

Yet I'm not allowed to mourn. Every time I try to mourn for someone, someone else dies.

Maybe I'll wake up one day and it will be April 12, 2006. I will have an in-tact family. I'll have all of my grandparents except for Grandma Kelley who died when I was very young. I'll have my aunts. I'll have my cousins. I'll have my friends. My wife will be pregnant with my cancer-free son. Emma won't be 2. The Rams won't be 0-6 going on 0-7 after Seattle whoops up on them.

Ok, enough of the pity party. Things could be worse, so I'll shut up now before they get worse.

So yeah, Andy's surgery is tomorrow. We need to be at the hospital at 6:00 which means his surgery should be around 8:00-ish. Hopefully his blood cultures will still be negative so they can remove the tumor instead of the port.

If they remove the tumor, surgery will be anywhere from 2 - 8 hours. Hard to say.

Last time we were in the PICU Andy and I both had a cold, complements of Emma.

This time in the PICU, Andy and I will both have a cold, complements of Emma. Andy's already showing signs. I'm not yet, but I smelled the cold in my nose this morning which I think means I've been exposed. I've been Purelling to the point to where the skin on my hands feels like it's going to fall off. And I haven't been touching my face. We'll see how it goes. If I'm sick I'm sick. Oh well. I'll deal with it.

This will be the worst holiday season ever.

If self preservation is a quality you posess, follow these tips:
1) Don't preach to me.
2) Keep your medical opinion to yourself unless you're Andy's doctor or nurse.
3) Don't flippin preach to me.
4) Keep your flippin medical opinion to yourself unless you're Andy's doctor or nurse.
5) Quit spreading misleading or false info about Andy. When people ask, they can talk to Julie or me or come to this website.
6) Quit asking me how radiation is going. For the last time, he is not receiving radiation. Chemotherapy is not radiation.
7) Don't flippin preach to me!
8) Don't tell me how to raise my kids.
9) Don't tell me what to post or what not to post here.
10) Keep your flippin medical opinion to yourself unless you're Andy's doctor or nurse.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to watch my team go to 0-7.


Anonymous said...

Lighten up

Anonymous said...

Since I have no fear of your ability (or lack thereof) to kick my a$$, I will not say.... Medically speaking, if they were my children, or let he without sin cast the first stone. But I will say, my brothers...I have a dream....DOH!!! forgot the rest of that most of important speeches....
If life had a rewind button, do you honestly think that Al Sharpton's parents might have used better birth control??? Or Mama Cass would have shared that Ham sandwich with Karen Carpenter?? Possibly the Lambs would've reconsidered giving Mark Buger that big new contract?? I dunno, but I was just wondering.